Sometimes, I have to remind people that I’m a girl. Everyone knows how much I love the NBA, and how big a basketball fan I am. Today though, I don’t think you guys need any reminding about the fact that I have boobs. While every other (self-respecting) NBA f an with a blog is posting about trade rumors, game updates, season predictions and other things that would not compromise their integrity, THIS ONE’S FOR THE GIRLS. Let’s forget about stats for a couple of minutes, and admire what the good Lord has given womankind in the form of the hardcourt heroes we have all come to love. Don’t be shocked, I did not include Jason Kidd in the list because he is my number one Hall of famer.

10. Anderson Varejao

Every inch a Brazilian beauty. Should come with a warning: an irrepressible need to run your fingers through his curly locks may occur upon sight. This cutie once smelled LeBron’s fart and made a ridiculously cute – albeit disgusted – face (video to follow), and that’s when I knew that he would one day make my list. Drafted in 2004 by the Orlando Magic, Papa Andy currently plays for the Cleveland Cavaliers.

9.     David Lee

Once my number 1 pick at a fantasy NBA draft (much to my boyfriend’s chagrin), the talented and huge-ass David Lee was the first ever white boy I drafted in the first round. And now, he is only one of two white boys on this list. Yes, he is that cute. I almost forgot about him after his less than stellar ’10-’11 season with the Warriors, but a genetic freak who still manages to look adorable piling up monster stats rightfully deserves this 9th spot.

8.     Boobie Gibson

His real name is Daniel – his momma gave him his childhood nickname Boobie. How can you not like a man named Boobie? This loyal cutie has been with the Cavs since 2006, the year he was drafted – also the year he lead the league rookies in 3pt%. He was the steal of draft, picked 42nd over all in the second round, and yet his contribution to that team’s playoff run wasn’t just recognized, but highly celebrated.

7.     Arron Afflalo

This man’s professional career has been rather quiet, with his most memorable game being one where he shot six 3 pointers against the Bobcats several years back. The same cannot be said, however, for his highschool and college career – highly heralded, heavily recruited, PLUS he was a member of the honor roll for UCLA. How’s that for a complete package?

6.     Chris Paul

Touted as the man who could possibly lift the Clipper curse – maybe not this year, but hopefully within the next couple – Chris Paul’s offseason was a primetime soap of sorts, with him playing the very convincing role of the village virgin everyone just had to bed.  His NBA career started in 2006 with the New Orleans Hornets. He was named Rookie of the Year that season, and eventually leading them to numerous playoff appearances. It was no wonder the franchise had such a hard time letting him go. They eventually had to though, in exchange for Kaman, Aminu, and Eric Gordon. We can look forward to many, many, many highlight reel-worthy passes from him to the man who occupies the number 2 spot on this list this whole season. Clippers fans are calling him the Messiah. I don’t know about that, but damn he sure is cute. Still not convinced? He has laminated obituaries of 2 of his grandparents, and makes it a point to pray before the national anthem of every game. He also recently married his college sweetheart. Excuse me while I swoon.

5.     Tyson Chandler

It’s annoying how the Mavs let go of him just like that. Not only did we lose a formidable presence in the middle, his departure also significantly lessened the eye candy factor of the team this season. At 9 years old, he was already nearly 6 feet tall. At the ripe old age of 29 however, he is now over 7 feet, and is one of the most highly regarded centers of our time.  Though plagued with injuries for a huge chunk of his career, he has certainly made a name for himself as an inside presence.  More of a journeyman than anything – selected by the Clippers but traded to the Bulls in the same breath, spent a couple of seasons in New Orleans and Charlotte, winning the championship with the Mavs, and now joining the Knicks with fellow stars Amare & Carmelo Anthony – there’s no place to go but up for this big guy.

4.     Dwyane Wade

This man is so undeniably beautiful. There’s really no other way to describe him. Drafted 5th overall in one of the most celebrated rookie classes in history, he has the junk to back up his pretty face. He was the key to the Heat’s first ever championship in franchise history & was even named finals MVP – after a mere 3 years in the league. He was extremely instrumental in the Olympics that same year, leading the “Redeem Team” to the gold medal. He league the league in scoring a couple of years after that, and the feathers in this guy’s cap are continuing to pile up.  Academic problems in highschool prevented him from becoming highly recruited as a college freshman, but he didn’t let that stop him from recording only the 4th triple-double in NCAA history. He is living proof that if you fall down 7 times, all you have to do is get up 8.

3.     Al Horford

This boy makes me squeal. HE IS GORGEOUS. If you’ve never heard of him until today, YOU ARE WELCOME. He is 6 feet 10 inches of pure Dominican goodness. Unfortunately, this hulking mass of grade A meat is now officially off the market – he married Ms. Universe. WHATIZ. Figures.

2.     Blake Griffin

The heir apparent of Jason Kidd to my heart of hearts. The first time I saw him, I KNEW.  He had a STELLAR college career playing for the University of Oklahoma for 2 years  winning numerous awards, and was picked 1st overall by the Clips in ’09. He blew out his knee in the final preseason game of the year (Clipper curse hard at work), and therefore had to make his debut the next season. And what a season that was for my boy. He won the Slam Dunk Contest, was named an All Star, AND Rookie of the Year. I knew it was true love when I found out he was interning for funnyordie.com. Cute, funny boys = my kryptonite (hi Enzo Ronquillo, you sexy person you).

1.     JJ Reddick

He is a Dukie. That in itself should be enough for me to put him on a pedestal. BUT NO, he had to be drop dead gorgeous as well. He had a highly colored college career at Duke University ending with them retiring his jersey. And why wouldn’t they, when he’s their all-time leading scorer? He was well on his way to legendary status when he dropped 30 on their one or their rivals – the Wolfpack – ON HIS FRESHMEN YEAR. IN A CHAMPIONSHIP GAME.

***

I also have a list of all-time pogi NBA boys that have since dropped off the face of the league. I felt the need to NOT include them in the main list, in fear of showing my age: Wally Szczerbiak, Chris Webber, Michael Jordan, Alonzo Mourning, Jason Williams, Allen Iverson, Steve Smith, Doug Christie (and 3/4 of that early 2000s Sacramento Kings team) and…

POPEYE JONES.

Sweet dreams, everybody ;)

Love,
Suzy899 :)